Thursday, May 31, 2007

Live Your Dreams


Life lists help you set and achieve important goals. Are you ready to start living your dreams?

The act of writing down a year’s worth of goals helped me move from “What if I did this?” to “When will I do this?” That’s also the idea behind life lists, which have become the power tools for helping people like me reshape their lives. They can’t be viewed as simple to-do lists, though. “A life list helps you focus on finally doing things you’ve imagined will make your life better,” says Molly Barker, founder of Girls on the Run International, a North Carolina–based running and character-building program for preteen girls.

That’s why “good lists start with a lot of soul-searching,” says Phil Keoghan, host of CBS TV’s popular reality show The Amazing Race who’s kept a list for 19 years. He believes so fervently in the transforming power of life lists that he’s written a book on the topic—No Opportunity Wasted: 8 Ways to Create a List for Life (due out in paperback in May). He’s also launched a TV show of the same name on the Discovery Channel.

Major events like a serious illness, the death of a loved one, or the loss of a job may cause you to reevaluate your life. For Keoghan, it was a near-death experience while filming an underwater shipwreck. Soon after his rescue, Keoghan grabbed a crumpled brown bag and shakily scribbled a list of all the things he wanted to do before he died. Topping the list of mostly daredevil stunts: Do another dive on that dangerous shipwreck.

Over the years, the man and his list have matured. Recently, he drove across America with his father. “I asked him every question that I would have regretted not knowing the answer if he died,” Keoghan says.

As for me, my life lists are certainly still working. I’ve performed in The Vagina Monologues (before an audience that included my shocked in-laws), for instance, and driven 100 mph on the German autobahn.

Life lists can work for you, too. And these tips from the experts can help you get started.

Tap into your passions.
Before starting a list, consider this: If I were to take my last breath at 3 p.m. tomorrow, what will I regret not having done? “Many of us never take the time to identify our dreams and passions to make the shoulda, woulda, couldas happen,” Keoghan says.

Set a special day to make your list.
Each year, create your life list on a day that’s meaningful for you. Start by reviewing your previous year’s successes, accomplishments, and challenges. Then consider what you still want to have, to be, and to do, advises Jatrine Bentsi-Enchill, CEO of North Carolina–based InSite Corporate Coaching and Training.

Test your limits.
Don’t stick to ordinary tasks that you have never made time for or have avoided doing. Include challenges that take you into unfamiliar, even scary, territory. “Facing your fears will transform your life,” Keoghan says.

Revisit and revise—often.
Your life changes over time, so should your list. “Put it in a place where you see it every day. But don’t get stuck on the details,” advises clinical therapist Judith DiPerna, who says lists help her depressed and anxious patients feel more in control of their lives. Being flexible allows you to take advantage of any opportunity that comes your way

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